Preparing for our adoption journey has been messy, exciting, and terrifying all rolled into one. I imagine many aspects of preparation are similar to becoming a biological parent. There are multiple areas of our lives that we have had to “get ready” to become parents, a lot more than I can cover in one blog. I wanted to spend some time tonight writing about a few of the things that we have done to prepare for parenthood in our personal lives as well as a hurdle or two that we have come across in the process.

One part of preparing for parenthood that Joe and I have spent a lot of time on is reflecting on our past together – doing our best to glean from our childhoods the values that we were taught and the ones that we believe are most important. We have been faced with the task of figuring out how we want to parent, and in what ways we want to do things similarly and differently than our parents did. Walking down memory lane has been full of both happy and painful memories, there has been a lot of growth that has come from thinking and talking through our childhoods and preparing for our children’s future.

Another aspect of preparing for parenthood that we have had to deal with is the advice and opinions of others. Preparing to become a parent means having lots of people share their thoughts on parenting and even their views of your capabilities; some of this advice we have sought out and at other times it has been abrasively given. Some of this information is super helpful and insightful – and when that is the case, we are so grateful.

This past week I have struggled, dealing with the kind of opinion that isn’t asked for. I was upset about one person’s opinion for a few days this week – the person didn’t say anything to me, but rather to someone who is close to me. The hurtful words that this person said weren’t asked for, but I really took them to heart and let them upset me. I was telling my Uncle what happened, and he reminded me of something so so important. He said to me, “You know Leeanne, the longer you hold on to these words, the more power you are giving them. Sometimes it’s the people who are closest to us that can hurt us the most, but if you are able to let go of these words and realize that they are just one person’s opinion you will be able to move on. You know that what this person said isn’t true and I do as well, and if you can keep that perspective, if and when something like this happens again you will be able to brush off the untrue things that are said and not allow them to bother you.”

How beautiful and true is that?! So often I get caught up doubting myself and I am paralyzed by fear of the harsh words and/or opinions of others. I imagine that with parenthood, I will get more and more unsolicited advice, but having the ability to filter the advice spoken in truth and love versus the overly critical and untrue advice is going to be and is already so important! Friends, don’t let the hurtful words of others terrify you or rule your life, untrue words are only as powerful as you allow them to be. You are doing a good job, you are enough, and there is a God who loves you just as you are and exactly where you are. Your circumstance does not define you, nor do the opinions of other people. Surround yourself with people who are willing to support and cheer you on, and when need be, who will correct you in truth and love!

One last thing that I wanted to talk about is this crazy element of excitement that has come upon me while preparing for parenthood. It’s amazing! So many unknowns and anticipated moments that wait just around the bend – it is so thrilling! I am so excited to know how many children we will be blessed with, how old they will be, if they will be boys or girls, and what they will look like! I also dream about the day that my first child calls me Mama – and I long to hear their cute little voice make out the word. It brings tears to my eyes dreaming about the future – our great feats as a family, and even our struggles. I pray already that amidst the struggles we can draw nearer to the Lord and to one another. I also burst with joy when imagining our community of friends embracing our children and coming along side us to show them a kind of love that they have never known before. There is SO much to be excited for!

We are hoping that we have learned enough from our parents, healed enough from our past hurts, and are able to submit fully to Christ and his leading in order to successfully raise secure and healthy children. We are so excited for what the future holds, and have been so blessed already just in our process of preparing for parenthood!

 

xoxxox

Leeanne