Joe and I got married on April 26th, 2014 – it was a magical day! I couldn’t imagine a more perfect wedding day! I remember people asking, as our wedding day approached, if we were planning on having children soon after we were married; my response was always, “we aren’t going to prevent it, so whenever it happens!”.

Adoption was something that we had talked about wanting to do someday, but I imagined it happening differently. Prior to getting married, when I dreamed about my future it would go something like this: first I would marry an amazing man, next we would get pregnant and have a couple of biological children, and then once things were settled down we would adopt a couple more babies. I have always dreamed of being a Mama.

We got married, and each month that passed without getting pregnant felt like it was some kind of mistake. I felt so much insecurity and doubt. People get pregnant alllll the time, I mean, even people trying NOT to get pregnant “accidentally” conceive. Why wasn’t it happening for me? I eventually started to relax, and on February 28th, 2015 I found out that I was pregnant!!!!!!! FINALLY! Joe and I were SO excited! I didn’t even know how to process the fact that there was a tiny human growing inside of me. Talk about a miracle!

We got to experience the excitement and joy of knowing that we were pregnant for about a month, then at the end of March 2015 our precious baby went to be with Jesus. I remember the night that it happened; I was so scared, yet overwhelmed with peace as I prayed that God would wrap his arms around our baby as he entered the gates of Heaven. I laid in a hospital bed and mourned my loss and the ability to ever be able to hold our baby, but knew without a doubt that our tiny baby was in the arms of the God. If there is any one who is more capable of comforting a child than its Mama, it is most surly God.

Life after having a miscarriage was (and still is, at times) rough. There is nothing that can prepare you for it, but oh how grateful I was to have the same God that was comforting my baby, comforting me as well. I am so blessed by the experiences I have been through, if only now to know how to better help others through them.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3&4

About three months after our miscarriage, Joe and I were standing in the kitchen when he looked over at me and said, “What are we waiting for?”. I was confused and proceeded to ask him what he was talking about. He went on to tell me that he thought we should pursue adoption. We had the space at home, we knew we wanted to adopt one day, we loved children and felt called to take care of the fatherless, and if we weren’t preventing pregnancy – why weren’t we pursuing adoption? For a few days I was unsure… this idea went against how I had envisioned my life… it threw off the order of events that I had imagined. But after thinking, praying, and surrendering our “family planning” to God, I had an instant peace about moving forward with adoption.

Joe and I started the adoption process on October 7th, 2015 (three days before what would have been my due date). We had researched for a couple of months before going to an adoption orientation. At the orientation we were given a brief overview of what a county adoption (foster to adoption) typically looks like. Since we attended this orientation, we haven’t looked back! We have been up to our ears in paperwork, meetings, and classes, physicals, TB tests, etc. – and we are so excited for what the future holds!

We aren’t adopting because we can’t have babies – Lord willingly we will have biological children as well as adopted children one day, it is all in His timing. We ARE adopting because we want children, and feel called to loving and adopting the “unwanted” into our family, as God has so graciously loved and adopted us.

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”” Galations 4:4-6

Let the crazy ride of parenthood begin!

xoxxox

Leeanne